Disobedient Heart
by Merula
Summary: Quatre's POV, yaoi. Life after the war with Quatre. One-sided 3x4, 1x2 mentioned, 5xC mentioned.
1. Sister's Plot

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing is not mine. Quatre's POV. Hey, A.S., you asked for it...  
  
Don't get me wrong; family is the best thing in the world. However, in my opinion, it is possible to have too much of a good thing. I certainly do. 29 sisters- all of them older than me, all of them determined that their 'little brother' is their special responsibility.  
  
Of course, I don't have exactly 29 sisters, not anymore. Only 28 since Irea died, but it seems wrong somehow to leave her out. When people ask me how many siblings I have, I always say 29. Irea is still here in my heart and that counts.  
  
I love my sisters, truly I do, but they can drive me crazy. But they're all I have, so I try not to show how much I sometimes wish I were an only child.  
  
Ever since the wars ended and I've been heading up WEI, the company has taken over my life. Of course, a bunch of my sisters work with me at WEI, but the company is so huge and I have so much work to do that it kind of eats up everything else.  
  
The Mariemaia incident was over 4 years ago. I haven't really seen any of the other pilots since. I had to jump right back into WEI with both feet. Oh, I get an occasional email from Duo- and I always try to write him back, but those emails of his have gotten more and more rare as time passes. Through him I learned that Wufei had quit the Preventers and joined Trowa at the circus, and that Heero had also quit and joined Duo in the salvage business on L2. Duo hadn't said why they quit, and I hadn't felt like I had the right to ask. They had all tried to keep in contact with me- invited me numerous times to visit, but I had failed them miserably. Duo was the only one who tried anymore, and like I said, even his enthusiasm seems to be fading. These four men who were once closer to me than my family are now no longer a part of my life.  
  
It's depressing to think about, and usually I didn't. I simply don't have time to dwell on things like that. I prefer it that way, actually.  
  
But this had been an awful week. Duo had sent me an email telling me that the circus was coming to my city, and that he and Heero would be visiting Trowa and Wufei there. I was welcome to come meet them - they'd all love to see me. I wanted to, but knew I couldn't.  
  
My schedule was booked for me weeks- months in advance and I didn't have the time. How sad is that? They were in my damn city and I had no time to see them. Even worse, I knew if I truly wanted to I could've just said 'the hell with it' and canceled my appointments. But I didn't. I knew that there was one of them who wouldn't 'love' to see me. I had sent off my usual apology. On top of that WEI had all the usual horrible stuff that happens in a large business during the week, most of which was manageable, but stressful. The topper of my week was the check-up with Sereh, my third- oldest sister.  
  
Sereh is a doctor, and despite my schedule she always manages to give me a 'checkup' once every six months or so. Usually by just barging into whatever meeting I have going on and dragging me off. At my one this week, she had run some tests on me and she had not been pleased with the results. Well, I wasn't pleased with the results, but I wasn't surprised either. I knew my body well enough to know that something was wrong even before the checkup. Sereh was the one who was unpleasantly surprised.  
  
I had known what was coming. Back during the war, before Operation Meteor, Instructor H had made me an offer. I took him up on it. I thought his device would help me- and it did. I came to rely on my 'spaceheart'. But, he had warned me that it was an experiment. I was the only test subject. Even then I had known the risk I took. It had seemed worth it at the time. Now it was killing me.  
  
I couldn't really bring myself to care.  
  
By the way, 'doctor confidentiality' flies out the window when your doctor is your sister. Every single one of my sisters would know soon that my spaceheart had developed a malfunction. I wanted to scream at the thought of what they all would do when they found out. One over-protective big sister would be manageable. But 29 of them?  
  
If it hadn't been for the thought of all those women hovering over me for however long I had left, I don't think I would've been as upset. Death seemed friendly to me- hell, it should've- his earthly incarnation was the only one of my old friends who I retained. It would be a chance to rest at the very least.  
  
I had just gotten to the office on Thursday morning and was trying to distract myself with the piles of work on my desk when my secretary led 3 of my sisters into my office. Crap, it was starting already!  
  
"Quatre," my sister Amah walked around the desk to kiss my cheek gently.  
  
"Amah, it's good to see you. How can I help you?" Amah, Harah and Chani ran a successful 'makeover' business. It had been awhile since I had seen them. They were always busy.  
  
"Sereh called us." Chani replied leaning over the desk to brush a hand across my hair. I groaned internally. "We've come to give you a break, little brother."  
  
"A break?" I looked at the piles of work on my desk and thought of the day's full schedule. 7 am to 10 pm- every second was full. Just like I wanted it. "I can't..."  
  
"You will," Amah said firmly pulling me to my feet as the door opened and four more of my sisters came in. "Judith, Rhys, Naka and Mairi are here to take care of all this." Judith grinned at me.  
  
"Just give in, sweetheart," she advised. "We've all conspired to give you the weekend off."  
  
"The weekend?" I repeated. Did I mention it was Thursday? "Isn't the weekend Saturday and Sunday?"  
  
"Not for you," Amah also grinned at me. "It's a Thursday to Monday kind of thing."  
  
"What am I supposed to do?"  
  
"You're going to get away from all this," Amah answered. "You're going to spend some time away from WEI and all the hooplah that goes with it."  
  
"I can't 'get away'" I responded wearily. "You know that I'm recognized anywhere I go. Not to mention that I have to take the bodyguards with me thanks to that whole little corporate warfare incident..."  
  
"Relax, little brother, we have it handled." Chani pulled my chair away from the desk. "Why do you think the 'makeover experts' are here?"  
  
"Oh no," I wondered if I could make a break for it.  
  
"No one will recognize you when we finish," Amah informed me gleefully, tugging me on my feet and towards the bathroom.  
  
They were right. An hour later I was looking into the mirror and I didn't recognize myself. They had dyed my hair a light auburn- the only other color that wouldn't look odd with my skin tone, according to Harah. They had given me a dusting of freckles, green contacts and switched my suit for jeans with a t-shirt and a flannel. As a final touch, they had presented me with a pair of glasses- to disguise the shape of my face, Chani explained.  
  
I blinked. I had gotten taller since the war, and broader in the shoulders, something that was hard to tell in a suit, but obvious in the clothes I was wearing now. Chani whistled at me.  
  
"You are downright gorgeous, little brother," she teased, making me blush. They led me out into the other room, where the other four were swarming busily around. Sereh had joined them. She grinned at me and I raised an eyebrow at her.  
  
"Perfect," she said, undeterred. "Now get going."  
  
"And where am I supposed to go?" I countered.  
  
"I don't care. I don't want to see you until Monday morning." She handed me a set of keys and a wallet. "The keys go to the blue car in my spot. There's a duffle for you in the trunk. The ID is fake; so don't get into any trouble, all right? Now scram."  
  
Considering that the rest of my sisters had also crossed their arms and were glaring at me too, I complied. Leos and Taureses were one thing, angry older sisters were quite another.  
  
The blue car was older than any of the others I owned, but inconspicuous. At first it was a relief to just be away from work. I drove aimlessly, listening to the radio. Then I began to wonder what to do with myself. The last 4 years of my life had been nothing but WEI. My mind drifted to the work I knew was on my desk for a brief moment before I snapped myself together.  
  
I swore angrily. Damn it, my sisters had gone to a lot of trouble for me- I was not going to waste their gift. I should go do something daring- something that I had been wanting to do...  
  
Then I remembered Duo's email. Of course it was for last weekend- he and Heero would've gone back to L2...  
  
But, the circus should still be here. I could at least go and see Wufei and Trowa. Of course- I knew they wouldn't want to see me. Like I said, Duo was the only one who tried anymore- he was the one who had sent the invite. However, the thought of seeing Trowa was very tempting. I glanced up at the rearview mirror and blinked at the stranger there.  
  
Trowa wouldn't recognize me if by some strange quirk he even looked my way. But I could see him. I could sit in the audience and watch the show. That would be good enough. I headed towards the circus. 


	2. At the circus

Disclaimer: Gundam wing is not mine. Quatre's POV. Thanks to those of you that reviewed!!  
  
The circus had grown since the last time I had seen it. It was a now huge arrangement of booths and rides all grouped around the center tent where the main show was held. I had paid my admission and was wandering around the place, happy to simply walk around by myself like a normal person, when I heard something familiar.  
  
"Heero! Admit it! I beat ya!" The voice was the same. Light and cheerful with a hint of laughter in the tone.  
  
"My equipment was inferior." That voice was the same too. Deep and faintly scornful.  
  
"Aw, c'mon man, just this once admit that I'm faster!" I turned and glanced to my right. Heero and Duo were standing in front of one of the booths. Despite the fact that I hadn't seen them for years, I knew them immediately. Duo's braid and Heero's blue glare were unmistakable. They were taller and broader than I remembered. Duo was actually an inch or two taller than Heero now, but the Japanese boy was more powerfully built.  
  
Duo's braid was swinging back and forth as he laughed at Heero. Heero was glaring at Duo from under his bangs. It was a very familiar picture. How often had I seen them in just that pose? Duo was teasing Heero about his aim now, trying to get the Japanese man to laugh.  
  
Gods, I had missed them. Did I dare approach them? What the hell could I say? Sorry I'm really late? Before I could decide, they had vanished into the crowd. Part of me was disappointed, but the other half was relieved. I turned towards the main tent. The show would be starting soon.  
  
I found my seat easily enough. A row from the front and right by the center ring. I should be able to get a clear view of all the performances. The gods were on my side today.  
  
Then I decided the gods hated me. Heero and Duo appeared and sat in front of me.  
  
They were laughing- how mind bending was that- Heero Yuy laughing like a normal person and not a crazed lunatic?- as they sat down. Duo twitched his braid to avoid sitting on the end and it flew back and hit my knee.  
  
"Oops sorry," he apologized to me.  
  
"No problem," I smiled back and he blinked.  
  
"I keep telling you to be careful, Duo," Heero chided. "You're going to put someone's eye out with that thing."  
  
"Heh, good thing you're wearing glasses, huh?" Duo grinned at me.  
  
"Why, were you going to aim for my eye next?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"Nah, not unless you drop popcorn in my hair."  
  
"I hate popcorn," I responded cheerfully. "So I'm safe then?" He laughed.  
  
"Maybe."  
  
"Duo," Heero shook his head. "Quit bothering the nice man." He looked up at me. "I can't take him anywhere." I chuckled and realized that several years of Duo's company had changed the Perfect Soldier. For the better in my opinion. Duo was blinking at me again and I felt a twinge. Had he recognized me? I met his gaze and wondered if I wanted him to recognize me or not. He flushed.  
  
"Sorry for staring, but you remind me of someone..." He frowned and tugged on Heero's arm. "Doesn't he?"  
  
"Hn?" Heero glanced up at me again. "I don't think so Duo."  
  
"Hmm... ever been to L2?"  
  
"Not for years," I replied honestly enough.  
  
"Any ties to the salvage biz?"  
  
"Nope." I shook my head.  
  
"Hmmm," Duo's gaze narrowed. "I wonder why you seem familiar then."  
  
"Duo, you think everyone is familiar," Heero laughed. "You're the only person I know that thinks everyone is just a long lost friend."  
  
"Well, so what? Is that a bad way to look at the world?" Duo turned a bit more in his seat and grinned at me. "So what are you doing here at the circus- and by yourself too?"  
  
"I played hooky from work today," I answered, again truthfully enough. "I needed some time away."  
  
"Ahhh, so why the circus?"  
  
"I just kind of ended up here," I shrugged. "Why are you here?"  
  
"We're here to see some of our friends. They perform with this troupe."  
  
"That sounds like fun," I smiled at Duo, relaxing a bit. He didn't recognize me.  
  
"It has been. Hasn't it Heero?"  
  
"Yes." Heero replied. "Now settle down, the show's going to start." He gave me an apologetic glance and I smiled back.  
  
The show started. It was amazing. The troupe had gotten larger and there was so much going on in the three rings that it was hard to focus on just one thing.  
  
I saw Wufei first. He was performing acrobatics with another man and three girls in the middle ring. The act required a lot of strength on Wufei's part- not that it surprised me how strong he was- and they were very graceful. They finished and bowed out to be replaced by Catherine and Trowa. Catherine's aim was as good as always, I was faintly relieved to note. I knew Trowa trusted Cathy implicitly, but I knew I wouldn't be able to stand still if one of my sisters threw knives at me. Of course, my sisters wouldn't throw knives unless they were aiming to kill. They finished and a few acts later I saw Trowa perform his tight-wire act. Wufei and Cathy did a trapeze act as well.  
  
I was sorry when the finale parade started. I had been - happy - sitting here in the dark watching my friends perform, with the comforting presence of the other two in front of me. I couldn't remember the last time I had just been happy. The parade passed in front of us and I saw Wufei wink at Heero and Duo as he went by. Trowa was sitting on the back of Catherine's elephant and he lifted his hand up as he went by. I studied him intently, meaning to preserve this image of him in my head.  
  
Then I saw his visible eye widen in surprise and I realized that he was looking at me. A frown flashed across his face. I should've known that I couldn't hide from Trowa. He was an expert at seeing through masks. Especially mine. He looked angry. I guess he hadn't forgotten. Damn. Time to go. As the rest of the parade went by I rose to my feet and got the hell out of there. A part of me was wondering what the hell I thought I was doing- they were my friends.  
  
No, not were - had been. They had been my friends. I needed to remember that. That they weren't anymore- and were obviously mad at me- was my fault.  
  
As much as it had hurt seeing them, I was glad I had. Now I could go hole up in a hotel room for a few days and catch up on sleep or something. No more emotional turmoil for me.  
  
I managed to get outside easily enough and headed for my car. I threaded through the booths towards the exit, wishing that it was a simple straight path out, but of course it wasn't. I made it to the exit gate and had to stop. Where had I parked? Blue car- I reminded myself as I looked around the lot.  
  
I didn't register the sound of running feet behind me until it was too late. Hands grabbed my shoulders and spun me around.  
  
"Quatre!" Trowa stood in front of me, still in costume, his hands tight on my shoulders. I tried to pull away but he was always stronger than me. "Why didn't you tell us you were coming?"  
  
"I didn't know I was," I replied calmly. "Not until this morning. It was a spur of the moment thing." His hands didn't let go. His eyes narrowed.  
  
"Why are you leaving?"  
  
"I didn't want to bother you." His hands tightened and I flushed. "I didn't think you'd want to see me."  
  
"You didn't stay away all this time because of that, did you?" Trowa looked upset. "I told you it didn't change anything."  
  
"It changed everything, Trowa." Wufei, Duo and Heero appeared in that moment, slightly breathless.  
  
"Trowa, what are you doing to that guy?" Duo asked. "Did he sneak in or something?" Trowa turned without letting go of me and looked incredulously at Duo. "What?"  
  
Wufei and Heero were looking back and forth between the two of us and I saw Heero's eyes widen in recognition.  
  
"Quatre."  
  
"WHAT?!?" Duo looked at me.  
  
"Why didn't you tell us it was you?" Heero reached out and touched my arm. Duo was studying me intently.  
  
"I KNEW IT! That's why you looked familiar!" He crowed, vindicated. "Hey, yeah- why didn't you say something? We didn't know you were coming!"  
  
"He didn't want to bother us," Trowa answered grimly.  
  
"WHAT?!?"  
  
"NANI?!" Despite everything, I had to grin. Heero really had been corrupted by Duo.  
  
"Winner, when did you become such an idiot?" Wufei spoke for the first time. He was frowning.  
  
"Quatre?" Trowa prompted.  
  
"I was waiting for a break in the conversation," I replied with a faint smile, finally managing to tug myself free of Trowa's hands. "Look I'm sorry, I really am." I turned and glanced at Duo. "What I said was true. My schedule was completely booked- just like always. My sisters ambushed me in my office this morning and..." I gestured at my clothes and hair. "Then they threw me out and told me not to come back til Monday. I didn't know what to do. I thought of the circus at the last minute. I thought you and Heero would already be gone by now."  
  
"Nope." Duo shook his head, braid swinging in counterpoint. "We're here through the weekend."  
  
"Why not tell us it was you? Were you upset that we hadn't recognized you?" Heero asked.  
  
"Oh no. I didn't even recognize me this morning. I just..." I paused. Ah hell. "Look, I know that I've let WEI take over my life. I know that I'm the one who's at fault for falling out of touch. I honestly didn't think you'd really want to see me."  
  
"Quatre!" Trowa scolded.  
  
"I invited you to meet us here!" Duo said at the same moment. Wufei was still frowning. Great, they were all mad at me. Well, I deserved it, and had been expecting it as well. I shouldn't be surprised. Heero suddenly lost his frown and stepped towards me. I wondered if I should step away, but he moved faster than I anticipated and suddenly I found myself in his embrace. I hugged him back, in shock over the change in our Perfect Soldier.  
  
"We've missed you Quatre. I'm glad you could make it." He hugged me tight for a moment, then let me go, smiling at the surprise on my face.  
  
"I've missed you too, Heero. I see Duo has been a good influence on you."  
  
"I don't know if I'd call him a 'good' influence," he drawled and Duo punched his arm lightly. Duo pulled me into a hug next.  
  
"Idiot," he scolded. "We always want to see you." He let me go with a slight shake. "You know that you're spending the rest of your weekend with us now." It wasn't a question.  
  
"As long as..."  
  
"Of course we want you to," Wufei finished for me, as he stepped forward and gave me a brief embrace. "You're our friend, baka."  
  
"Hey, that's my nickname," Duo laughed.  
  
"We are glad to see you Quatre," Trowa was the last to hug me.  
  
"I'm glad to see you too," I replied. Trowa pulled back a bit and graced me with a teasing smile.  
  
"You finally hit that growth spurt, hmm?" I realized that I was as tall as he was now.  
  
"Well it's about time, don't you think?" I smiled back.  
  
"All right!" Duo clapped his hands. "Let's get organized! Did you bring any luggage, Qat?"  
  
"My sisters packed me a duffle," I replied. "I'm almost afraid to look in it."  
  
"Gotta love those girls. So let's go grab it and find you a place to bunk down for the weekend."  
  
"He can bunk with me," Trowa laughed. "I'm sure he won't want to disturb any of you lovebirds."  
  
"Lovebirds?" I repeated. To my surprise both Wufei and Heero blushed, while Duo laughed.  
  
"Yeah, Wufei's got a girlfriend," Duo leaned over and nudged me in the ribs. "He really likes being teased about her too."  
  
"Maxwell!" Wufei flushed.  
  
"I'm looking forward to meeting her," I smiled at Wufei calmingly.  
  
"You know her," Duo laughed. "It's Cathy."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Really," Duo was still chuckling, but whether from my surprise or Wufei's anger I wasn't sure. "How did she end up with you anyway, 'Fei?"  
  
"MAXWELL!" Wufei frowned. "One might ask how someone like you ended up with Yuy." I raised both my eyebrows and Duo froze.  
  
"You and Heero?" I asked.  
  
"Uh yeah..." Duo suddenly looked unsure of himself and out of the corner of my eye I saw a worried look cross Heero's face. I laughed out loud.  
  
"About freaking time."  
  
"What?!"  
  
"Oh come on Duo. It was totally obvious to me a long time ago." I tapped my chest lightly and mock-glared at him.  
  
"It was not-" he protested and I laughed again.  
  
"Yes, it was. The two of you drove me crazy!" Duo finally smiled at me. Heero was chuckling.  
  
"Now that it's settled, let's go grab Quatre's stuff before the next show."  
  
No sooner said, than done. We tossed my duffle into Trowa's trailer. Cathy came looking for Wufei and Trowa since the next show was starting soon. Duo, Heero and I headed out to grab some supplies. 


	3. Talking

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing is not mine!  
  
Thanks to all who reviewed!  
  
We were in one of those huge warehouse stores when Heero finally asked the question I had been hoping no one would ask. Duo had run off in search of gummy bears and we were slowly pacing the aisles, waiting for him to catch up.  
  
"So, what made your sisters decide to throw you out this weekend? I mean, they never have before, right?"  
  
"Nope, never. It was all Sereh's idea," I smiled and shook my head.  
  
"Sereh? The doctor?" I had forgotten how excellent Heero's memory was.  
  
"Yes." I looked down at the cart.  
  
"She decided you were working yourself to death?' He asked lightly.  
  
"Something like that," I tried to reply just as lightly, but Heero wasn't fooled. I was never as good at hiding my emotions like the others were.  
  
"Quatre- what is it?" Heero stopped the cart and grabbed my arm. I made myself meet his eyes.  
  
"It's my spaceheart. It's- malfunctioning."  
  
"Malfunctioning?" He repeated. "Why?"  
  
"Sereh doesn't know why. Just that it is. We just discovered the problem a few days ago. She's taking some time to study it for me."  
  
"Well, I'm sure she'll get it fixed." Duo had reappeared and was leaning over the cart. "Right?" I smiled for him. "Does it hurt, Qat?"  
  
"Not really." Heero gave me a sharp look that Duo didn't notice. Then I changed the subject.  
  
We watched the evening performance of the circus. Afterwards we retired to the guest trailer where Heero and Duo were staying to talk. Cathy had given Wufei a kiss and told us not to stay up too late.  
  
Duo was throwing gummy bears at Heero, who was retaliating with M&M's. Wufei would occasionally intercept the ammunition. Trowa kept tossing chips at both of them impartially. I just tried to avoid getting hit.  
  
The conversation had drifted around lazily, the guys telling me all the details I had been missing. How Wufei managed to convince Cathy to date him. How Duo and Heero got together. How Trowa and Cathy had managed to expand the circus.  
  
"So, Quatre," Wufei drawled when there was finally a pause in the conversation. "What have you been up to?"  
  
"WEI," I shrugged. "What else?"  
  
"Girlfriend?" Duo asked, managing to hit Heero with a gummy bear.  
  
"Nope."  
  
"Boyfriend?" He tried again with a grin.  
  
"Nope." I shook my head. "If I had anyone they'd have to disguise themselves as a secretary, sibling, bodyguard, corporate lackey or a stack of file folders. I don't see anything else."  
  
"What about the Magunacs?" Heero hit Duo with a M&M.  
  
"It seemed kind of awful to make them stay with me, so I encouraged them to find other interests. Rashid and a bunch of them opened some fitness centers. Abdul went into the restaurant business with a few more. Some of them got married and settled down. I see them sometimes- Rashid makes a point of stopping by once a month or so."  
  
"So they aren't your bodyguards anymore?" Trowa asked. "But, you still need the security, right?" I laughed.  
  
"The corporate world is like a mini-war in and of itself. There's always battles."  
  
"Then you should've kept them to watch your back." Heero scolded.  
  
"No. Rashid nearly lost a leg protecting me from one of my business enemies. It's not worth it to me. The security I have now is decent enough."  
  
"But they can't be as good..." Heero frowned.  
  
"They aren't, but I am."  
  
"So, they're for show?" Wufei asked incredulously.  
  
"Pretty much," I admitted. "They make my sisters happy."  
  
"Damn it Quatre. That's not safe," Duo protested. I merely raised an eyebrow at him. He growled back at me. "You shouldn't risk yourself like that."  
  
"Duo," I said patiently, "I was a pilot too, you know." I changed the tone. "Besides, as cutthroat as the corporate world is, it's not like the war we were in. Just enough to keep my skills sharp. It's kind of a rush, actually." I laughed suddenly. "I wonder though- my sisters sent me off alone today. Maybe they're on to me."  
  
"Maybe they just thought you needed some breathing room," Heero suggested.  
  
"I'm still amazed they let you wander off alone," Duo shook his head, "overprotective as they are and with your problem." He flushed suddenly, mortified. "Sorry Qat."  
  
"It's all right Duo," I soothed, knowing that he spoke out of concern for me. What had I ever done to have such loyal friends?  
  
"What problem?" Trowa sat upright.  
  
"I'm having trouble with my spaceheart," I jumped in before Duo could answer.  
  
"Having trouble?" Wufei frowned. "How?"  
  
"We... Sereh and I aren't sure. It's... having some difficulties."  
  
"What kind of difficulties?" Trowa ground out.  
  
"Well," I wished I could drop the subject all together, but my chances of that were nil. "It's malfunctioning slightly. Getting a bit worse all the time."  
  
"And it's integrated with your heart," Wufei said, the realization dawning. I saw Heero nod slightly, he had realized that earlier. Duo looked stricken. "Can't they remove it?"  
  
"H might've been able to, since he was the one responsible, but Sereh can't and she doesn't see how anyone could without killing me in the process." I shrugged. "H told me that this might happen eventually."  
  
"So you're dying," Trowa reached the conclusion that Heero had reached earlier. "How... long?"  
  
"I don't know," I met his eyes and smiled for him. "Awhile yet, I'm sure. It hurts only occasionally now, so I can't be too badly off."  
  
"Oh Quatre," Duo reached out and gave me a one-armed hug. I returned it and smiled for him.  
  
"I don't want to think about it now, Duo. Let's forget it- please? I just want to enjoy my time with you guys before WEI swallows me whole again." 


	4. Trowa

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing is not mine.

WARNINGS: If you've read my other fics you know that I don't write Trowa as the 'always silent' type. I never really thought he was after Quatre attacked him and he gave that long emotional speech. So don't be surprised if he gets emotional here...

Wufei was the first to leave after that. He looked at the clock and declared that Cathy would skin him alive if he was much later. Trowa and I followed him out, heading for Trowa's trailer.

"You can have the bed," he told me as he closed the door behind us.

"I don't mind the couch," I replied, seeing a futon-like one against the far wall. Reaching down for my duffle, my hand was intercepted by his larger one.

"Quatre," his voice sounded... broken and I looked up at him in amazement. Tears were streaking down his face. I reached up with my free hand and brushed at his cheek.

"Trowa- what's wrong? Please tell me." The tears flowed faster and I tugged us both to the bed. I sat him down on the edge, intending to kneel down in front of him where I could see his face. His arms caught me before I could move, and he pulled me tight against him, his head against my stomach. His shoulders shook with sobs. "Trowa. Please talk to me?" My fickle spaceheart was telling me only that he was upset, desperate and pained. What was wrong?

"It's not fair," he spoke softly against me, head still resting on my stomach. "You... you've finally come back to us and we're going to lose you again. I should've tried harder. I wanted to come see you- so often!- but... Rashid manages better than I did! If I'd known all I had to do was go in and demand to see you I'd have done it! But..." He stopped.

"Shhh," I soothed. "It's all right. It was my fault, not yours. You didn't know."

"I should've! You're my friend! You would've seen me! I was just too scared..."

"Scared?" I repeated. "Why? Did you think I'd refuse to see you?"

"No- no," he protested. "I knew you'd see me. I just couldn't face you." I lifted his head up so I could look him in the eyes. I'm sure he saw my next question there, because he answered it before I could give it voice. "Because I love you. I always have. During the war I just couldn't..." His words made my chest ache. Not now! I commanded my disobedient heart, not now! It thumped painfully, but kept going.

"But you said... you said you couldn't when I told you."

"I lied." His hands tightened on me.

"Why Trowa?" The remembered pain resurfaced.

"I'm no one, Quatre. No one. No name. No home. You were someone- Quatre Rabera Winner. You had a family, a home- what could I have offered you?"

"Yourself, Trowa. That's all I wanted." I told him honestly.

"It wasn't enough," he replied. In answer I bent down and brushed my lips across his. His response was immediate and his arms tugged me down on the bed. The pain in my chest dissolved into the pleasure he gave me in no time at all.

The rest of the weekend passed quickly. Too quickly. All too soon it was Sunday night. I was tempted not to return, but I didn't want to hurt my sisters or abandon my duty. Besides, Heero and Duo were returning to their home, and the circus was getting ready to move on. I didn't want to impose any more upon my friends than I had already. This peaceful interlude had been wonderful, but I knew that it's time was limited. But, Trowa... my chest ached at the thought of leaving him.

We were again ensconced in the guest trailer, Cathy with us this time, having one last evening of each other's company. Cathy and Wufei had claimed the sofa; Heero and Duo were stretched out on the floor, Duo's head pillowed in Heero's lap, while I sat in a chair with Trowa leaning against my knees.

We reminisced and teased each other, laughed and joked and ate in our tiny circle of warmth. When it got late we smiled our goodnights at each other, knowing we'd have the morning to say goodbye. Trowa and I returned to his trailer where we made our own goodbyes. I tried to memorize every detail of him, tried to burn it into my memory as he warmed and comforted me.

"I don't want to say goodbye," he murmured against my hair afterwards as we curled up under the blankets.

"I don't either," I sighed back. "But we have to Trowa. You can't leave the circus and as much as I'd like to I can't leave WEI. Our responsibilities tie us down."

"I know," Trowa's hand brushed my bangs. "But I'll still miss you."

"I'll miss you too." My chest had begun to twist up painfully again, making it hard to breathe. My hands involuntarily clutched at the blankets and I gasped in pain.

"Quatre?" Trowa sat up, concerned.

"Just...hurts..." Gods did it hurt!

"What can I do?" Trowa slid his arms around me.

"Have.. to ... wait it out..." I managed. I felt him vibrating with tension and fear as I tried to catch my breath. I closed my eyes and blocked him out, trying to regain control of myself. The pain intensified.

"Beloved, I'm here, it's okay, relax..." Trowa murmured in my ear like I was one of his lions, relaxing and soothing. "I love you..." The pain released me suddenly and I took a deep gasping breath in relief.

"It's over," I took another breath and then lifted my head to kiss Trowa's jaw. "I'm all right." He frowned even as he returned my caresses.

"No, you aren't."

"It's never been that bad before," I shook my head, feeling my sweat soaked bangs slide across my face. "I guess it's getting worse." His arms tightened around me.

"Rest love. You need to rest."


	5. Back home

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing is not mine.

Thanks for all the reviews & being so patient with my attempt at Quatre POV.

Trowa must've mentioned my little attack to the others, judging by the way they were hovering over me the next morning. Luckily, Heero and Duo had a shuttle to catch, so they had to leave on time. Duo gave me a tight hug and promised to call. Heero's hug was tighter as he told me to call them if I needed anything.

Wufei and Cathy hugged me as well, promising to send the circus's schedule so that we could maybe meet up again. Wufei must've guessed, or Trowa told him what was going on, since he left Trowa to make his goodbye to me privately. Trowa put my duffle in the trunk and turned to hug me.

"I'll miss you," I said to him. "I promise we'll see each other soon."

"We will," he replied and hugged me tight. "I won't let you go so easily this time."

Sereh and the others were waiting in my office when I arrived back at work. Sereh looked immensely pleased with herself for some reason as she checked me out while Chani and the others turned me back into my normal self.

"How was your weekend little brother?" Sereh asked when they had finished and I was back at my desk. My sisters had been busy- the piles were definitely smaller.

"The best one I've had in a long time," I replied.

"You saw the other pilots, right?" I gaped at her and she laughed. "I've received several phone calls this morning, little brother. Can you guess what they were about?"

"Me?" She grinned.

"Heero Yuy called first. He asked to be sent your records and all the information I had on your spaceheart. He has some diagnostic tests he wishes to run that he thinks might help." Of course. Heero was mechanically minded- and the best at fixing the gundams. He might be able to find a solution. "His partner also got on the line and asked to be kept updated on your condition, since you always put the best spin on things." I smiled.

"Like he doesn't."

"Chang Wufei called next to suggest an eastern specialist in heart ailments. I had thought of asking Dr. Wong for help, but he doesn't approve of female doctors. Mr. Chang had already secured Dr. Wong's help for you and he also called me this morning." I shook my head in amazement and Sereh grinned.

"I can't believe..."

"Oh believe it. You thought 29 sisters were overprotective! They are nothing compared to your 4 'brothers'." Sereh was amused, that much was obvious.

"I suppose Trowa called this morning too?"

"No," Sereh grinned wider and leaned over to hit the call button on my desk. "Anna, would you please send my brother's new security team in?"

The door opened a second later. Trowa stood there, Abdul, Rashid and Auda behind him.

"Mr. Barton called me _last night_ and informed me that your security was not up to par. I agreed with him, and as you see, we replaced them very satisfactorily." Sereh purred.

"Master Quatre!" Rashid boomed at me and came to shake my hand, Auda and Abdul a step behind him. "It is so good to be back in your service!"

"Rashid..." I looked up at him and then at Trowa. "I don't want you putting yourselves in danger..."

"Don't be ridiculous," Rashid scolded me. "Mr. Barton has told us about your old team. Do you honestly think we'd leave your safety in such poor hands?" I glanced at Trowa who hadn't moved at all.

"Trowa..." I started but he shook his head at me.

"I'll need a copy of Mr. Winner's schedule for the week," he said to Anna. "Auda and Abdul, stay in here with him this morning while Rashid and I work out a rotation and go over the building's security." Anna complied quickly. Rashid left with Trowa before I could speak again. Abdul and Auda took up their old familiar positions in the room. I looked at Sereh and my other sisters.

"Sneaky," I said to them and they giggled.

"Judith needs to go over some changes she'd like implemented soon," Sereh said to me as she brushed her lips over my cheek. "She is your first appointment this morning. I have other patients to see, so I'll be leaving."

"Thank you my sister," I thought to say before she left. She gave me an impish grin as she closed the door behind her.


	6. Checkup

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing is not mine. For those of you who are wondering what is up with Trowa, I'm trying to stick to the whole stoic in public, intense in private thing here. Hope that's clearer in this chapter... (And now ya'll know why I usually stick to 1x2!)

Judith did have some major changes in mind. She had decided that my schedule was too full and too stressful for just me.

"It took four of us to cover it, Quatre, and it stressed us out. There is no way you would be allowed to continue it." She gave me a significant look. "Especially now. Sereh feels that stress will merely accelerate your condition." I nodded in acknowledgement. "I know Father left WEI set up so that all the decisions had to go through the head of it, but it's insane." She handed me a file folder. "I think we need to split the job up into parts- divide the responsibility." She gave me an anxious look as if she expected me to disagree.

"It would be great, if you and the others are willing..."

"More than willing, little brother." Judith smiled widely; thankful I was going to acquiesce. "Rhys, Naka, Mairi and I enjoyed the challenge- stressful as it was. Between the 5 of us we should be able to keep the company running easily."

"So, you've divided up the responsibilities?" Judith pulled out a sheet of paper.

"This is my plan. We are also going to adjust your workday, Quatre. No more 7am to 10 pm."

"Really?" How could they manage that?

"You need the rest," she said stubbornly, taking my confusion for disagreement. "Sereh said rest would help and so rest, you'll get. Your workday is now 8 to 12. If we have an emergency, we'll call you." Only four hours?

"But that's not fair..."

"Quatre, you've been working night and day for 4 years. It's more than fair." She glared at me. "And we are not taking no for an answer."

"Very well," I sighed. Remember what I said about overprotective siblings?

The rest of my morning meetings went smoothly. I had a lunchtime meeting out at a restaurant, and Trowa and Rashid took over for Auda and Abdul. Rashid sat in front with the driver while Trowa joined me in the back of the car. I made sure the privacy screen was up.

"Trowa, what about the circus?" I asked him once we were alone.

"I left," he said quietly. "You're more important to me." He wrapped his fingers around mine and squeezed them tightly.

"What about Cathy and Fei?"

"Cathy understands- she's going to use Fei as her target now." Trowa smiled.

"Great, bet he's pleased."

"He volunteered when I told them I wanted to be with you." Trowa looked down at the planner in his lap. "Sereh wants to see you after lunch today. I told her about your attack last night."

"Trowa," I started before he shushed me.

"Don't even try. She needs to know." He looked up and met my eyes. "If your condition is worsening, we need to take steps." His fingers tightened a bit more.

"True," I agreed, unable to argue with him on that point.

My lunchtime meeting went smoothly, and we got to Sereh's office on time. To my surprise, an older Chinese gentleman was waiting with her.

"Mr. Winner? I am Dr. Wong. Chang Wufei asked me to take a look at your case."

"Thank you," I told him. "I am grateful you could take the time for me." Dr. Wong made a dismissive gesture.

"I owe the boy, and besides, your case is intriguing. The way that your doctor integrated his device with your heart is ingenious. You realize that it is an organic-based machine?"

"Yes, that's what he told me."

"Dr. Winner has been sharing your last test results with me. I understand you had a bad attack last night?" I looked over to where Trowa stood by the door and he nodded at me.

"Yes."

"Can you describe the sensation?"

"It was hard to breathe- like being squeezed- or twisted. My heart felt like it was having trouble beating. It hurt."

"How long did it last?" I thought about it, but I had no sense of time- it had seemed to go on for a long time.

"I... don't know..."

"About 3 minutes," Trowa said, and I heard the tension in his voice. Three minutes? That was all? Gods, it had felt longer!

"You were there Mr.-?"

"Barton." Trowa pushed himself away from the wall and joined us. "I'm Mr. Winner's personal guard."

"Ah. Good. Tell me- did he change color? Get pale or turn red?"

"Pale."

"Breathing?"

"He was panting- having trouble getting air in."

"Sweating?"

"Yes." Trowa was answering him calmly, but I knew that underneath that calm exterior he was anything but. Fear for me radiated off of him.

"Hmm," Dr. Wong turned back to Sereh. "Dr. Winner, could you run these tests on Mr. Winner for me again?" Dr. Wong asked. "I want to see if the attack changed any of these results."

"Of course." Sereh agreed and I sighed. Trowa caught my eye and frowned at me, obviously recognizing my expression.

So I let Sereh run her tests again with no complaint. When she was finished she and Dr. Wong bent their heads over the results while I tugged my shirt back on. Trowa came to stand by me while we waited for the doctors.

"You okay?" I asked him quietly.

"Can't wait to be back home with you," he told me softly with a glance towards the doctors and I understood.

"Me too."

I heard Dr. Wong say something in a sharp shocked voice and Sereh exclaimed softly in reply. I looked towards them and saw that Sereh had tears streaking down her face.

"Oh no," Trowa tensed beside me. Sereh looked up at us and I saw her take a deep breath to compose herself.

"Quatre," she started shakily and had to take another deep breath. "I don't know how to tell you this...."


	7. Dr Visit

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing is not mine. Sorry for the cliffhanger and the delay in getting this chapter out. Real life is catching up to me again.

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Dr. Wong put up a restraining hand. "No, we can't say anything yet. The results are inconclusive."

"Inconclusive?" Sereh's eyes widened and she turned to him. "I don't think that's correct! He deserves to know."

"Know what? Do we know why any of these things are happening? Until we do, we can not, as doctors, say anything."

I was not pleased. They were discussing my condition as if I was not in the room with them. My opinion did matter after all.

I slammed my hand down on Sereh's desk. I had moved off the exam table and over near them without them noticing. They both jumped.

"Just tell me!" I snapped at Sereh. Trowa put a restraining hand on my shoulder. "Is it getting worse?"

"Perhaps yes, perhaps no," Dr. Wong interrupted. Sereh opened her mouth as if to protest, but he shook his head at her.

"That's not helpful! Were the results worse or better? It's a simple as that." I was getting angry now. It was my heart after all! Trowa's hand tightened.

"Calm down, Quatre," he murmured. I could hear the concerned tone in his voice, but I was too angry to calm myself down yet.

"Answer me!"

"The results were- different." Dr. Wong met my gaze evenly. "Better or worse is hard to say at this point. I need to have your other friend go over the results. Perhaps he can tell us what's going on. This is more of a mechanical problem, and he will be the best suited for this task."

This was ridiculous. Either my results were good or bad; I didn't see what good not telling me the results would do!

Unless they were trying to keep me calm, hoping to avoid another attack. My reason finally reasserted itself and reminded me that another attack would be a bad thing. It also pointed out the tightness of Trowa's grip. I took in a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"Well then, send them on to Heero," I looked at Trowa and he nodded. He stepped towards Sereh and her computer. I took another deep breath and gave Dr. Wong my best glare. "I'd like to know what's going on as soon as possible."

"We all would, Mr. Winner. Be patient." Dr. Wong said soothingly. "Right now it's more important that you stay calm and get some rest."

"Patient," I grumbled in the car to Trowa. "Easy for him to say."

"Used to be easy for you to do," Trowa smiled at me, taking the sting out of the words. "Relax Quatre. Both doctors agreed that you have to stay calm. Besides, you know that Heero will be straightforward with you. He promised me that he'd look over the tests immediately. You only have to be patient a bit longer."

"I just hate feeling like some kind of lab experiment," I grumbled, knowing full well I was being childish and not caring in the slightest.

"But you were a lab experiment," Trowa pointed out. "That's how you got into this mess in the first place."

"Thanks," I rolled my eyes at him. "Instructor H never made me feel like one though. He always explained what was going on- good or bad."

Trowa looked at me thoughtfully. "You almost sound like you miss him."

"I do sometimes," I admitted. "He was doing his best for the colonies. I admired his ideals and I don't regret doing what he asked of me." I closed my eyes and sighed. "Gods, I wish he was here."

"So do I," Trowa agreed with a faint smile. "Actually I'd take any of the doctors at this point."

"Me too. Even if the news was bad, at least they'd be honest with me. H didn't believe in sugarcoating anything." Trowa glanced towards the front of the limo. The partition was up and we couldn't see Rashid or the driver. He put an arm around me and tugged me close to his side.

"Rest Quatre." I leaned into him gratefully and closed my eyes.

When we got home, Auda met us at the door and said that Heero had called for Trowa.

That surprised me. Heero wasn't one to beat around the bush in any way, shape or form. Why Trowa and not me?

Unless his analysis of my situation was very bad. Then he'd more than likely want Trowa to be the one to tell me- or, even more probable- break it to Trowa first. If that was the case, Duo really had changed our stoic friend quite a bit.

I would've gone with Trowa and listened in anyway, but Rashid and Auda insisted that I needed to go rest. I was tired, and in a way, I really _didn't_ want to hear what I thought Heero was going to say.

Trowa joined me upstairs a half-hour later. I looked at his face, but he was as placid as ever. My spaceheart told me nothing, fickle thing. Trowa lay down beside me on the bed and tugged me close. I closed my eyes and braced myself for what I was now sure he was going to say.

"Heero and Duo will be here tomorrow. He has a test he wants to run on you."

I blinked. That was not what I had expected.

"What kind of test?"

"Another diagnostic of some kind. He'll be here in the morning." Trowa smiled at my expression. "He told me to tell you not to worry."

I knew it was probably an empty comfort, but still from Heero...

I smiled up at Trowa and pulled him closer.

"In that case, you'd better keep me busy until he gets here."


	8. End

Disclaimer: Gundam wing is not mine. This is it, the final chapter! Yay! Thanks for being so patient with my Quatre experiment! And a big thank you to all the reviewers!!

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"So then, Heero decides that he's had enough of waiting in line at this point..." I smiled at Duo. He and Heero had arrived early this morning in order to conduct Heero's tests. Heero and Trowa were setting up the equipment and Duo had apparently appointed himself in charge of keeping my mind off of what they were doing.

Sereh and Dr. Wong had also arrived only a little while ago, and they were watching the equipment set up. I don't know what it was, but it looked complicated.

"Quatre? Quatre!" I blinked and met Duo's eyes.

"Uh, sorry?" I tried and he chuckled at me.

"Didn't hear a word I said, huh?"

"I was trying to pay attention..." Duo waved his hand in the air.

"Don't worry about it. I know your mind is on other things." He looked over at Heero and Trowa who were muttering over something on the table in front of them. Duo smiled. "Cute, isn't he?"

"Huh?"

"Heero. He gets all scrunchy when he's trying to figure out a problem."

"Scrunchy?" I looked Heero over carefully. "Duo, I'm not really familiar with your slang, but I don't see how he's looking 'scrunchy'."

"You know," Duo furrowed his brow and frowned at me, his eyes narrowing. For a moment he did look uncannily like his lover. "His face gets all scrunchy."

I had to laugh. Duo joined in and Heero looked up at the two of us.

"Do I want to know?" He asked Duo with a lifted eyebrow.

"Nope," Duo replied with his cheery smile. I met Trowa's eye and he smiled at me, shaking his head a little.

"We're ready for you Quatre," Heero looked away from Duo and beckoned me over to the table. "Sit here."

I sat still as he attached various devices to me, his face 'scrunched up again.' I knew I'd never be able to keep a straight face now, so I kept my eyes on Trowa.

"Okay," Heero finally finished and went to stand behind me at the table with his equipment on it. "You can voluntarily use your spaceheart, right Quatre? Deliberately read people?"

"Sometimes."

"I want you to try it now. You don't have to tell me what you sense, just let me know when you manage to get it working."

I nodded and tried to focus my attention.

"Excuse me," I looked towards the door. Rashid was there. "There's a phone call for you Trowa. It's Cathy. She says it's urgent."

"Go," I told Trowa when he looked at me. He nodded and followed Rashid out of the room.

I shook myself. I needed to do what Heero had asked. I closed my eyes and concentrated.

Duo was worried. He was practically vibrating with it. I could feel the anxiety rising off of him in waves.

"It's working now, isn't it?" Heero said behind me.

"Yes." How did he know? What kind of tests was he running?

"Keep going."

Underneath his worry was hope and faith. Duo had such utter faith in Heero. His love was a layer underneath that, keeping the rest of his emotions in balance.

Heero was different. During the war his emotions were under tight control. It had been almost painful to try and read him. Now they swirled out from him. He was worried too, but more hopeful than Duo was.

Before I could dig deeper, Trowa came back into the room. I could read the emotions off of him too easily. Fear, concern... something was wrong.

I opened my eyes. Trowa was standing in front of me.

"Quatre," he dropped to his knees. "I have to go. The circus is in serious trouble, Cathy says. One of the lions got out and mauled someone- they'll have to put it down. The city is threatening to sue. They... need me right now."

But I needed him... I squashed that thought and felt the pain flare around my heart. I kept control of it. It wasn't an attack after all, just my own feelings.

Behind me, I heard Heero take a deep breath.

"Okay," I told Trowa, smiling for him. "Do what you need to do. If WEI's legal department can help..."

"Quatre," Trowa leaned forward, and I could see his distress. "I don't know when I can come back."

The pain flared more.

"It's all right," I told him. "I understand." The pain was more intense now, my chest felt like it was being squeezed, but I would NOT do this. I would not have an attack in front of Trowa and make him feel guilty for going. Not ever. I was not some little boy that needed my hand held! My anger suppressed the pain for a moment. "We can have one of the shuttles take you."

Trowa's eyes searched my face. He was frowning faintly. I saw him glance over my shoulder at Heero, but suddenly his eyes widened. "Quatre, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I managed. "Go pack. You'll want to get up there as soon as you can." Duo was suddenly next to me, one hand on my shoulder.

"I don't think Trowa should go," he said, his tone hinting at anger. "You need him right now Quatre."

"I'm fine," I said firmly, even as the pain intensified. "It's all right, Duo. Go on Trowa. The faster you go..." I didn't finish the sentence. Who knew when he would be back? If ever.

That thought made the pain nearly crush my chest. I drew in a gasping breath.

"Quatre?" Duo leaned over me.

"I'll be on my way then," a gentle hand touched my cheek.

"Trowa!" Duo snapped.

I wanted to tell him not to be so angry, but I couldn't. The pain overwhelmed me completely and I passed out.

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A heated argument was going on over my head somewhere. I identified the voices- Duo and Heero.

"I still say that was a lousy thing to do!"

"We had to Duo! I wanted to see what was triggering the attacks."

"Quatre's heart was malfunctioning BEFORE Tro moved in with him!"

"Because he wasn't using it anymore! You know what happens to machines when they just sit!"

"So you damn near overload his!"

"I didn't expect to have to go that far! He wasn't showing signs of pain!"

"But your machine was showing you what was happening! You could've stopped it!"

"Duo," that was Trowa now. "We didn't know what would happen. We misjudged it."

"And damn near killed him!"

"I know it!" Trowa snapped back.

"I'm amazed it's still beating," that was Sereh's voice.

"Of course it is," Heero's voice dropped. "Trowa didn't say he was leaving forever after all."

"Was that your first plan?" Duo still sounded pissed.

"Yes it was," Trowa's voice was as soft as Heero's. "But I didn't think I could do it."

"Good thing. Who knows how much damage you might've done. I can't believe you guys! His heart was fixing itself, the regeneration was reversing! Why did you have to muck around with it?"

"So that they knew _why_ it was fixing itself," I decided to enter the conversation at this point before Duo ended up doing something he'd regret on my behalf. I blinked my eyes open. All I could see was the white ceiling, but it was an improvement.

"Quatre?" Duo leaned over me, his braid brushing my cheek. "You okay man?"

"I've been better." I smiled for him.

Trowa leaned over on the other side. "How are you feeling Quatre?"

"Fine," I met his eyes, feeling the worry and love pour out of him. "I'm fine now."

"If you don't mind," Sereh appeared in the range of my vision, pushing Duo to the side. "I need to examine him. Please gentlemen, a few minutes?"

Sereh raised the head of the bed after she checked my vitals. She had shooed the other three out into the hallway. Apparently Dr. Wong had left once I was stabilized in order to deal with his other patients.

"How are you feeling little brother?" She perched on the side of my bed after she finished.

"Fine, like I said." I met her eyes. "Was it really just that I wasn't using it anymore?"

"You had wrapped yourself up so firmly in WEI that you didn't have time for anything else," Sereh frowned. "I should've noticed sooner. Some things are meant to be used Quatre, they stagnate and die otherwise. Your heart was malfunctioning because H had altered it to... depend on your feelings."

"Can we come in now?" Duo was leaning in the doorway. "The nurses keep eyeing Heero and if they don't stop I'm going to have to molest him in the hallway to force them to."

"God forbid," Sereh laughed. "Yes, I'm all finished." She leaned down and kissed my cheek gently. "We'll let you out in a few hours, okay?"

"All right," I replied.

Duo took Sereh's place. "We gotta go too, we have some stuff to get back to," he hugged me for a moment. "I'm glad you're better Quatre. We'll see you soon, okay?"

"Okay. Thanks Duo," I hugged him back. He was replaced by Heero.

"Take care," Heero told me, also with a hug. "Trowa knows how to monitor things, he'll let me know if anything changes."

I hugged him back. "Thank you Heero."

"Nothing to thank me for Quatre. I nearly killed you."

"But you didn't and that's what's important." I frowned at Duo over Heero's shoulder. He looked a bit sheepish. I hoped he got my message. "You found out what was wrong, so it all worked out fine. Thank you."

"Okay," Heero stood up, a faint smile on his face. He grabbed Duo by the braid and hauled him out.

Trowa moved away from his place by the door and came to perch on the bed. "You sure you're feeling okay?" He reached out and brushed my bangs away from my eyes.

I rolled my eyes at him. "I'm fine now."

"I knew I should've come to see you sooner," Trowa sighed. "I might've noticed what you were doing to yourself." I had to smile at that.

I reached out a hand and touched his cheek. "Don't take this as an accusation, Trowa, but I started cutting myself off at the end of the second war. After I told you how I felt."

He blinked at me, and then understanding dawned. "After you told me? Oh. And I told you that I couldn't feel that way..." He looked stricken.

"Don't," I shook my head at him. "You did what you thought you had to. It's all right now, isn't it?"

"I nearly killed you Quatre- twice." His eyes were wide.

"And I nearly killed you twice," I retorted. "So we're even now, okay?" I tugged him towards me.

"Twice? You surrendered the first time we met."

"You put your hands in the air first." He smiled.

"But you said that you surrendered."

"Well, attacking you while on Zero counts for two then. Whatever."

"I'm still ahead."

"Then take it as you owe me. You'll just have to stick around for awhile." I leaned forward and kissed him.

"Believe me Quatre, there's no place I'd rather be."


End file.
